The Audition--A Drama

The Audition—A Drama

Nineties garage band screaming girl grunge is heard playing as the curtain opens on the den or television room of an apartment. There is a couch center with a hobo style purse on it and a coffee table in front of it.  Magazines and television remotes are on the coffee table. There is a book shelf stage left and a television stage right.  Beside the couch stage right to center is a little end table.  On top of the end table is a cordless phone dock.  The phone is not in the dock, but laying on the couch.  There are two doors in the wings stage right. The door down stage right is the door out to the hall of the building.  The door up stage right and diagonal in the corner is the bedroom door. On stage left is a wall going into the wings, demonstrating a hallway which leads to the kitchen. The music fades and the phone rings.  GEMMA MILLER dashes out of the bedroom to the phone, out of breath. GEMMA is pretty, 30s, hurried and very frazzled.  From behind the couch leans over it reaching for the phone, checks the number, smooths her hair slightly, and answers the phone using an overly happy, somewhat fake voice.

GEMMA

Hey! Long time no hear!…well, I can’t stay on—I’m waiting

for a call…yeah, no.  Had to ditch the call wai…so what’s up? Oh, 

yeah I heard about that ages ago…really, I’m fine! just fine…

working on a new play, too and I’m really excited about…

GEMMA starts walking around the couch, downstage to her purse on the couch.

Well, I couldn’t expect him to stay alone his whole life, ri…

Sits down on couch, fumbles through purse.

No, really…I’m cool with it—taking much better than I thought I would actually…

We see that this is not entirely true—she pulls a picture out of the book in her purse.  

Well, I have to go…(stands up) I had that audition yesterday and…

It’s very exciting! Living the dream…still in the same apartment since I moved

out of Da-…Yeah, it is a bit of travel time, but you do what you’ve got to do…

GEMMA drops picture on coffee table, heads toward kitchen.

no…it wasn’t on Broadway exactly…well, not exactly off Broadway,

either…more off-off Broadway, or off-off off Broadway…well…

Connecticut, actually…yes, thanks for pointing that out…NO! 

You don’t have to…but…ok…

1.

GEMMA pulls he phone away from her ear and puts it back on its cradle with a sigh. She appears to be staring at the phone in quiet contemplation when KNOCK KNOCK is heard from the door.  GEMMA gives the door a quizzical look.  KNOCK KNOCK is heard again.

GEMMA 

Coming! 

GEMMA opens door to the hall. ENTER BROWNIE GIRL SCOUT with a Girl Scout cookies pamphlet. She stands right in the doorway with the pamphlet and takes a large step into the apartment.  She is a tiny girl of about eight, but very brazen.

GEMMA  

Aren’t you a little short to be a storm trooper? 

GEMMA is attempting to be funny, but a little bit shocked that this tiny Girl Scout has just walked into her apartment. BROWNIE does not understand the reference and takes one step back into the entrance way of the apartment.

BROWNIE 

I’m selling cookies!  Here is the pamphlet!  Please buy some.  

BROWNIE shoves the pamphlet in GEMMA’s face.

GEMMA 

Little girl, how did you get here?  

She looks around to see if anyone is with the little girl. 

And when will the cookies come in?

BROWNIE  

They are in the car with my mom right now.  So if you want some, 

just tell me which and I will run outside. 

BROWNIE motions off stage right.  

GEMMA 

Hold on, let me get my purse.

GEMMA goes over to the couch and gets her wallet out of her purse while—

I remember when we took orders and didn’t get the cookies for 

months. 

2.

GEMMA goes back up stage to BROWNIE with her wallet, opening it.

BROWNIE 

You must be very old.

GEMMA  

Raising her eyebrows, glaring through her lashes at BROWNIE. 

How much for a box of Thin Mints?

BROWNIE  

They are all four dollars each— 

GEMMA begins to pull out dollars 

--but there aren’t any more Thin Mints.

GEMMA  

Pause. Thinking.

How about those Peanut Butter Patties?

The next portion should be done rapid fire between BROWNIE and GEMMA.

BROWNIE                                                        GEMMA

I’m out of those, too.

Trefoils?

Sorry.

Do-si-dos?

None of those.                      

Getting desperate. 

Samoas?

Nope. 

She is not even sounding sad about.

GEMMA  

Exasperated. 

This would probably go a lot faster if you just tell me what you      

DO have left.

3.

BROWNIE 

Rah-Rah Raisins.

GEMMA  

Huh?

BROWNIE 

Rah-Rah Raisins!

GEMMA  

Baffled and off put. 

I’ve never even heard of those. 

BROWNIE

Well, you are very old. 

Pause.  

Did you know the actual founder of the Girl Scouts?

GEMMA  

Wait.  What?? Just. FINE.  I’ll take a box of those Rah-Rah 

whatevers.

BROWNIE 

Rah-Rah Raisins.  

Holding out her hand. 

That will be four dollars.

GEMMA 

Looking at BROWNIE’s outstretched hand, dumbly. 

But where are my cookies?

BROWNIE  

I will take the money and go out to the car to get them. 

The hand has not moved.  It is still outstretched, waiting for money.

GEMMA  

How do I know you won’t just lea—

4.

BROWNIE continues to look up at GEMMA with hand out waiting for money.  GEMMA gives her one last side eye as she pulls the four dollars from her wallet and places it on BROWNIE’s upturned palm.  

FINE.  Cookies please.

BROWNIE’s fingers close around the money and she dashes off stage right.  GEMMA shuts the door and looks longingly at the phone as she crosses to stare at it and puts her wallet back into her purse.  There is a loud KNOCK at the door.

GEMMA  

Coming!  

She crosses to the door and opens it.   ENTER BROWNIE’S MOM and BROWNIE.  BROWNIE’S MOM is in her mid 20s, slightly overweight, with full makeup and nails done.  BROWNIE is the one holding a full carton of Rah-Rah Raisins.  BROWNIE’S MOM looks GEMMA up and down.

BROWNIE’S MOM 

Hi. 

Staring down GEMMA.  

My daughter tells me you only want one box of cookies.

GEMMA  

Yes, that is all I really can afford right now.

BROWNIE’S MOM 

Getting into GEMMA’s face. 

You cannot help my daughter out any more than that?  That’s 

pretty cheap of you.

GEMMA

Completely taken aback.

Too bad!  I don’t even LIKE Raisins!  Let alone whatever your 

daughter is selling me.  One is all I’m taking!

BROWNIE’S MOM  

Practically throwing the box of Rah-Rah Raisins at GEMMA.             

Thanks a lot.

5.

EXIT BROWNIE’S MOM and BROWNIE.  GEMMA shuts door with sigh of relief.  She no sooner shuts the door when there is another knock on the door. Surprised, GEMMA looks through the keyhole, breathes another sigh of relief and reopens the door.  ENTER OLIVIA, GEMMA’s older sister. 

OLIVIA  

She breezes past GEMMA, talking while she drops her purse off on the coffee table, sits on the couch, and turns to look at GEMMA. All the while saying

What was that craziness going on outside your apartment building?

Some crazy woman and her kid with cookies?

GEMMA  

Yeah, don’t ask. 

GEMMA follows and sits on couch next to OLIVA. She shows the box to OLIVIA and offers it to her.  

Rah-Rah Raisin?

OLIVIA

What the hell are those? 

Pushing away the box.  

Creepy lady outside was trying to get me to buy a box. ick. 

Raisins. 

Pause. 

I’m so sorry about David—him going and getting engaged like 

that!  Bizarre.  Where has he been hiding her, even?  I didn’t even 

know he was seeing someone!

GEMMA  

Slightly defeated, and surprised. 

Yeah.   Neither did I.

GEMMA puts them the coffee table. Turns back to OLIVIA.

GEMMA  

Trying to sound like she is brushing it off.  

It’s not like we’re together anymore.  He has a right to be happy.

6.

OLIVIA 

But you, being alone still.  I mean you guys break up—and I still don’t

know what happened there—you move out, quit the job at the firm…

Wasn’t this supposed to be all empowering?  But you’re still struggling

for a job and he’s all —happy.  

GEMMA gives her a side eye and goes back to playing with the box of cookies.

Are you sure he’s happy? This was all very sudden—wait!  Didn’t 

he just go to that thing alone last month? 

GEMMA  

Yep.

OLIVIA

With you for so long, and then turns around and proposes after a 

month with her? And what did happen anyway???  With you and David?

GEMMA 

We don’t KNOW that he was only with her for a month.  Maybe it

was longer. Maybe she couldn’t make the dinner last month?

Pause.  

                        And there is nothing to tell.  He had that look in his eye—and I wasn’t

                        ready.

OLIVIA  

But wouldn’t you have heard?  And what do you mean “that look”? 

GEMMA  

Well, obviously I didn’t hear, whenever it was they started dating. And I had

the sneaking suspicion the question was coming. Like 95 % sure the

question was coming.

Now it is OLIVIA’s turn to side eye GEMMA. 

I wasn’t ready for marriage!  I don’t know if I ever want to get married.

OLIVIA

                        Well, what do you want?

GEMMA

                        I want this job I auditioned for yesterday for one thing! I want to have

                        a job I love and still make enough money to be comfortable. I want to

7.

                        have conversations with other women that meet the Bechdel test.

OLIVIA

                        OK, ok, what do you want to talk about?

GEMMA

How about you? What did the doctor say?

OLIVIA  

Clearly not wanting to talk about her own problems. 

Inconclusive.  

GEMMA  

That’s not very helpful.

OLIVIA 

No, it’s not. 

Dismissive. 

but enough about me—how are you REALLY? Uhm, not about

the David thing, but about anything else—like the audition?

GEMMA  

It was for Streetcar, which you KNOW I really really really want to

do, but why haven’t you scheduled an appointment for a second opini—

The phone RINGS.  GEMMA looks at caller id.

GEMMA 

Jeeze how popular am I today? 

Picking up phone. 

Too bad not in the way that I want (then into receiver) Hi 

Mom…no, I haven’t yet…that’s why I can’t stay on…I KNOW…

please, I’m fine!..well, no….I haven’t gotten a job yet…but I still have

the savings from when I was at the fir--…bye, Mom.

OLIVIA 

She just cares. 

Reassuringly.

8.

GEMMA  

She’s coming over.

OLIVIA  

Instantly, OLIVIA is frazzled, standing up, making a real production of leaving.

When?  Now?  

GEMMA

                        She’s around the corner.

OLIVIA

Is there a back door?  A window?

GEMMA

                        This apartment is on the second floor!

OLIVIA

                        Oh, God.  Gotta go!

GEMMA  

But she’s going to want to talk to you t—

OLIVIA

Exactly why I’m leaving… I’ll see if I can stop after the appointment! Bye!

By this time OLIVIA has opened the HALWAY door and EXITS.

OLIVIA

From wings.

                        Mom, hi!  Sorry, gotta run!  Late for an appointment!  Kiss, kiss!

GEMMA  

At the door. 

Bye!  Mom, hi! Do you want me to put on a pot of tea?

ENTER MOTHER she is very put together and looks younger than her almost 65 years. MOTHER places her purse on the coffee table and starts toward stage right.

MOTHER

                        No, Gemma, I can go put on the water. It will only take a moment.

9.

EXIT off stage left. GEMMA follows her almost off, but then mother ENTERS back out into the den, talking the whole way out.

MOTHER  

…and then there was that nice boy you met on match dot com—

I don’t understand why you won’t agree to—

GEMMA 

Really, Mom?  You just walked in!  I told you I’m not interested in

going back on Match. And you didn’t even have enough time to put

on the water!

MOTHER  

I remembered I can’t stay—

Heading back towards kitchen.

--but I can start the water for you

GEMMA

                        No, Mom.  Let’s just sit.  You’re making me dizzy.

MOTHER

But what about the nice boy—

GEMMA and MOTHER sit at the couch.

GEMMA  

No.  Just no.  That “nice boy” (using air quotes) you mentioned 

completely pulled a 180 as soon as he realized I wasn’t going to 

pay the whole bill for him.

MOTHER  

But did you lead him to thi—

GEMMA

Not going to talk about it!  Just no!

MOTHER  

And David getting engaged.  Who is this woman?

GEMMA  

Who told you?  Did he pay for a mailer or something?  

Pause. 

10.

And I have no idea.

MOTHER  

I got a save-the-date post card.  Really Gemma, you LIVED 

with the boy. See?  What did I tell you!  Why buy the pig when 

you can get—

GEMMA  

Please just stop and…Wait.  What? Back that up.  You got a post card?

MOTHER  

A save-the-date post card.  The ones that are given so that the loved 

ones can plan to be at the wedding and—

GEMMA  

My EX BOYFRIEND sent you a save-the-date post card for his 

marriage?  To someone else? 

MOTHER  

And someone he has only been with about a month. Although—

GEMMA

MOM! 

Then, more calmly, although clearly a ticking time bomb.

Why did he send you a save-the-date card?  And how do you know 

about the month thing?

MOTHER  

We still converse, Gemma.  He broke it off with you, not us.

GEMMA  

First off, I broke it off with HIM.  And yes, breaking up meant ALL

OF US. And why do I feel like I’m trapped in that movie Clueless

right now???

MOTHER  

You don’t have to yell, Gemma.  I can hear you perfectly fine.  And 

these hysterics are exactly why I didn’t mention it.  But see how a 

nice boy settles down with a nice girl quickly because why buy the 

cow when you can get the—

11.

GEMMA  

Who even talks like this still?  It’s like you’ve traveled several centuries to be here today to ramble on about what you consider my failures.

MOTHER 

I am not rambling on about your failures.  I don’t think they’re failures dear.  

I’m just saying that you are single and quickly approaching 40, living 

in this tiny, messy apartment and clinging on to this hope of getting 

some acting job when you don’t have any connections.

GEMMA 

On the verge of tears.

Just stop it.  I need to live my life!  

MOTHER  

But you aren’t!  You’re sitting around waiting for something to happen.          

Pause. 

And stop crying.  Why do you have to be so sensitive?

GEMMA  

I don’t understand you.  Usually you say I’m not sympathetic enough to others, that I’m too harsh, not trying to understand why people see things the way they do.  Suddenly, I am too soft—I need to be tougher.  

Pause. 

And I am sitting around waiting because I was at an audition yesterday!

MOTHER  

And now you are a slave to it!  You wouldn’t even go out for coffee because you didn’t want to leave your phone!  And where is your cell phone, anyway? I tried to call it but it went to voicemail.

GEMMA 

I dropped it while on a run and the screen shattered.  New one won’t 

be in until tomorrow. 

Massages her temples. 

You never understood my need to act. You never understood the importance of it!

MOTHER 

No, I didn’t. 

Pause.  

12.

And I don’t.  It isn’t real. Is it fame you are looking for? Some 

external validation that you are important in this world? Because it 

is the people in our lives, the relationships that we make that prove 

our importance, not what random people playing computer games 

or watching television think.

GEMMA 

Don’t you think I know that? It’s not that.  I need some semblance 

of control!  

MOTHER  

Who has control?  No one has control!  Not really.

GEMMA

Exactly!  That is exactly why acting is important to me!  I can’t 

control my fate.  No one can, but I choose to face it.  Art gives 

us the power to fight fate.

                       

MOTHER 

Where is the power?  Even if you get in a play, the lines are written, 

the play is THE SAME  every night.  Nothing changes.  How is that fighting?

GEMMA  

It’s a representation of what we do every day.  Our lives don’t really

change, our fate remains fixed, but we go on anyway because the 

fight is important.  Art exposes the fallacy in our own experiences. 

There is so much about the world that we can learn through art.  It 

is the very soul of humanity.

MOTHER 

Well, all this soul searching isn’t putting food on your table or giving 

me grandchildren.

GEMMA  

You have grandchildren.

MOTHER

Yes, from your sister.  I want them from you, too.  And you had control—a

job as an Associate Attorney at a big firm. Decent money coming in.  A nice           

home.

GEMMA 

I didn’t want that life.

13.

MOTHER  

You chose that life.  Look, Gemma. I’m trying to understand.  I want to

Be supportive, but I don’t know what you want.  I told your Aunt Eva that

I would meet her for lunch.  You can come along if you would like. 

GEMMA

                        I’m waiting for that phone call.

MOTHER sighs. Stands up and picks up her purse

MOTHER

I don’t mean to be hard on you, Gemma.  I just want you to       

have everything you want.

GEMMA  

Everything YOU think I should want anyway.

MOTHER  

Gemma, if you were happy and single and you went around with 

a sparkle in your eye and a spring in your step I wouldn’t be 

concerned.  But you are miserable.

GEMMA 

Because I’m waiting to hear about this audition.

MOTHER 

Don’t just sit around waiting for something to happen, dear.  Go 

out and get what you want.

GEMMA  

But maybe it doesn’t want me.

MOTHER 

Opens the door  

Should that matter?  

MOTHER EXITS, shutting door behind her.  GEMMA runs to the door, opens it and calls out

GEMMA

                        Mom!  Hold up! I’ll be down in a minute!

GEMMA runs to the phone, picks it up, opens a drawer under the side table and pulls out a phone book.  She then takes the phone out of the console and starts dialing. She should fumble

14.

with the phone and the book almost comically.

GEMMA 

Hello, Mrs. O’Hare?  It’s me, Gemma, across the hall…no, everything is  

fine…Oh, I’m sorry, sometimes my mother’s and my conversations get a little heated…oh, no…really, everything is fine!…yes…oh, I wanted to ask if you  

could watch my apartment for about forty five minutes so I could go to lunch….No, my cellular phone broke a couple days ago and I’m still waiting for the new one to come in, so  I’ve been pretty stuck to the apartment…you can?  Thanks so much…See you in a few!

As soon as GEMMA puts down the phone, it rings again. GEMMA looks at the phone and instantly looks apprehensive and excited.

Hello?  Yes, this is Gemma Miller…Yes, I…oh.  (Crestfallen) Well, thank you for calling…(sounding hopeful and excited) No!  I did not know that.  Yes, I would love to!  The auditions are when?  Anything special I should have prepared?

Thank you so much!  I will see you then!

FADE TO BLACK

15.