weekend ponderings

I had the most random dream last night.  Well, maybe not so random.  I usually don’t remember my dreams, and when I woke up I didn’t remember much of it, but now that the day is half over, I catch myself contemplating the meaning of last night’s dream, and why I remember what I remember from it.  I was driving in my Accord, but my eyes were closed.  They were tearing and as hard as I tried, i could not open them, I marveled that I had not yet hit anything, but felt that my luck could not hold.  I think I pulled over, but I have no recollection of doing so or know how I wound up where I did, carless, and with no idea really of where I was.  I believe my father was there, and I had the idea of calling the police to find my car because I had been on the highway and the state police probably came upon it.  We did and they had, it would seem my car was find and just had one headlight out...

I think what alarms me the most about this dream is the idea that my eyes were closed and I couldn’t open them.  This seems very different to me than being blind in a dream.  Being blind seems to denote a type of victimization.  You have no control over your blindness and therefore the predicament you find yourself in is not one of your own devising.  To have your eyes closed seems to mean an unwillingness to see, that I struggled to see maybe connotes a struggle between my conscious and unconscious mind.  Maybe there are things that I need to see that I don’t want to...or truths that I am trying to protect myself from.

Or maybe not.  Maybe I am struggling to see obstacles that aren’t really there, that I am looking for something that isn’t even a problem. Maybe I’m afraid of what I’m not seeing. But who isn’t afraid of the unknown?