My Obsession with Books

I have a confession to make.  I have an obsessive personality.  Whether you are talking about coffee, the television show Supernatural or maybe just checking (again) to make sure I unplugged the curling iron....color me obsessed.  But there is one obsession that puts all my other obsessions to shame--my obsession for books.

My love for the written word has been lifelong and at times expensive.  I was at Barnes and Noble at midnight to pick up the Harry Potter books in hardcover.  I would then repurchase them  (or any hardcover for that matter) when they inevitably came out in paperback. One time, I left my book at the indoor track at my law school.  I actually contemplated going out and repurchasing it.  Luckily the gym was still open so I was able to go and pick it up.  I have driven back to work at night ( I work in a city that gets dangerous at that time) to retrieve a forgotten book from my office.  There is always at least one book in my purse.

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t obsessed.  When I was just beginning to read, I would have Beverly Cleary books or Pippi Longstockings books that I would read at night by my nightlight.  To me, everyone should know how to read and should be given the opportunity to fall in love with the worlds books create for us.  When I was a kid, I would line up my stuffed animals at the end of my bed to read to them and to give them lessons on how to read, too.  I remember once my mother took Steinbeck’s The Grapes Of Wrath away from me because I was up late at night reading by the nightlight.  Eventually, she gave up and put a reading light in the shelf headboard on my bed so I at least wouldn’t ruin my eyes.

When I got into middle school, books were my solace--I would get the books the older kids were allowed to read.  Sometimes, the librarian in the media center would let me read books that were behind the counter--the books on the “banned book” list.  They made me feel so deliciously rebellious.  

My teachers used to order from Scholastic books.  I could never purchase a book at the regular time because my mother never understood why I had to own the book when I could just borrow it from the library. But when the books came in, well there were always a few extras.  The teacher always got a few books for free in the order, or maybe she just figured I would buy them.  I’m not sure.  What I do know is that I always bought them when I could.  It didn’t matter what the book was about.  I would see the book up at the chalkboard. It would call out to me.  Whatever I could scrounge up whether it be my allowance or my lunch money, I would use it to purchase the books.  They were just sitting up there lonely, unloved, unread!  I had to save them.

When I think back to times in elementary school, one thing that instantly leaps to mind for me was the smell of new English workbooks.  Every year we would get the text book, which was always a hardcover and very rarely if ever new.  But the workbooks were always pristine.  The florescent light of the room would reflect off their immaculate covers.  I would only open the book so far so as not to crack the spine.  I always wanted the most perfect workbook.  They would be handed out that first day of school, and I would put the workbook up to my nose to drink in the “new workbook” smell.  Sometimes I am lucky enough to find some kind of “workbook” style book that has that smell.  There was a period in elementary school when I wanted to teach so I could be around that smell always.

Recently a new phenomenon occurred.  As with music and video, books now too are online and in “e” form.  I had no desire to get a Kindle because it seemed against the very nature of my love for books.  I purchased the first generation Nook though and only read one book on it.  It just wasn’t the same.  Luckily, this second generation Nook and I have become good friends...It is wonderful because now instead of being limited to only carrying one book with me, I can carry an entire library.  

Make no mistake, though.  I haven’t stopped purchasing books.  I never will.  My small one bedroom apartment looks like a substation of the Library of Congress.  I own more books than I will probably ever be able to read.  But that doesn’t matter.  

I can always tell the people who are true book lovers.  I may be at the local cafe, or at the gym, but whenever I take my Nook out, one of those book lovers inevitably asks about the e-reader.  He or she usually ends with saying he/she could never be without the feel of the book in his/her hands.

Neither could I.  I love the feel of books.  I am especially fond of the paperbacks.  Purchasing books is a ritual.  First, I look through the copies.  Very rarely do I take the one in front.  That one has been molested.  There may be a curl in one of the cover corners, or a crack in the spine from where someone had opened it.  I check the cover, the spine, make sure that the ink is uniform on the pages.  If there are various covers for the same book I look over them all.  Which cover do I find the most attractive?  Guaranteed if the book was made into a movie or television show there will be a paperback with a picture of the actors on it.  I don’t want that cover.  Unless it is Supernatural which was a television show before the books were released.  Then I will take that cover.  

I love having the ability to look at the cover whenever I want.  I love getting as many beautiful bookmarks as I can find for the books.  I love to gauge where I am in the book by seeing the thickness of the pages behind me versus the thickness of the pages in front of me.  But I digress...

Sometimes I like to go to used book stores and library book sales. I love when I find books over 100 years old that have dedications to children, lovers, grandparents, whoever.  I have a copy of the Scarlet Letter that was given as a Christmas gift in 1892.  It is one of my most valued books.  Someone loved that book almost 120 years ago!  To me, it brings a continuity.  Books help keep us in touch with our past.  Books help us seek out our future. Books are eternal.

In books we share in the experience of characters that can be or do anything.  Their feet don’t have to touch the ground.  Nobody ever has to get old.  Nobody has to die.  In books we have the chance to have that one perfect moment immortalized.  People say that about film and television, but there you still have to deal with suspension of disbelief. In books the characters can fly, or fall. There are no trials too great for true love to overcome. Dreams can be realized, without the burden of cold harsh reality.  In books, anything is possible. 

Books are a conversation, sometimes with people from different eras. They teach us the value of imagination. They teach how to use our own minds to imagine more than what we are today and build our own visions. Books can be our thumbprint in time.  Some day books may show others what was important to us, what we sought out, what we wanted from life.   Maybe 100 years from now someone will read what we have written and feel closer to us...

For me, books help keep me imagining more.  They give me ideas for what to write, and guidance on how to write better.  I do most of my writing in the local library and the local Barnes and Noble, so maybe sometime I’ll see you there.